Climber in a flat land

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August 06, 2018

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Incompatible Wants and Needs

Incompatible Wants and Needs. This might not be the experience I've wanted this weekend, but it might just be what I need. I didn't imagine heading for a big fall onto suspect trad gear, I wanted to spend the weekend cruising stylishly to victory over climb after climb. But the first thing I need to do is survive it, and that's going to depend, mainly, on something I've done a minute or two before. Placing a tiny piece of gear, a lump of metal the size of a wine gum... He's looking shaky... And as I pad my feet uselessly around, bunched up, unstable and out of balance, I look for handholds, try out my options, then return to what was inadequate a few seconds before. The handholds -as I find them- don't change but they seem to get worse, as my strength runs out. Finally, they spit me off in disgust. Curbar has no tolerance for the weak, the clumsy or the cocky. Forget all that shit about falls lasting forever: I...

Personality Types

Personality Types Me, I've got a semi-obsessive personality. I like to portray it as "oh I just really enjoy climbing" but its not really, its like a heroin addict, who with one third of his brain is ALWAYS thinking of where to get his next hit. And like some heroin addicts, I live in Drysville, where the local cops have been busting dealers, and the local Chemist has got new bars and a security system so new no one knows what the default passcode is. That is Norfolk, no rock, and only a few indoor shooting galleries, albeit, some excellent ones, shared with other total addicts. So, I need to scratch my itch, time to smoke some prescription painkillers! I've been listening the Enormocast a lot. For those not in the know, it is a climbing podcast done by Chris Kalous (who?) from the US. He's interviewed hundreds of climbers, most of them Americans, including Cheyne Lemp (who?), Boone Speed (who?) and Noah Kaufman (who?). ...

Psychological experiments on small children

Psychological Experiments on Small Children It is a well-known condition of the progress of life that when children arrive they disrupt one's own ability to pursue the shit you want to do. From Ellis' arrival in the world I decided, as ruthlessly as I could, that his existence would not stand in the way of the outdoor life I wanted to lead. Ha! fat fucking chance. This bundle, with 50% of my DNA, has not only its own needs and its own will, but also its own weapons: principle of which is its mighty crying voice. I will have to plan, experiment and improvise in order to achieve the correct psychological balance between my needs and its. The game is on! The portable phase The early phase of fatherhood starts of well, as the child is relatively portable. While only two weeks old In put on a maternity sling and tuck the boy inside. I look like a pregnant woman swathed in grey fabric. Off I head to the woods. The boy, c...

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